Time Marches On.

I guess at some point in our lives we all have to come to terms with old demons.
We have to lay aside what our expectations were for some relationships.
People change.
No one is ever who they were. No one is who we ever really want them to be either.
We can only accept the past as it happened and have those memories.
And embrace the future as it occurs.
My father is a man whom I believe that I can never have a relationship with again.
He is a man who I have always had problems with having a relationship anyways.
We always butted heads. He was a man who was pretty stubborn and angry.
Things that he did made me feel very small and very belittled as a kid growing up.
I spent alot of time out of the house just trying to get away from him.

As an adult I tried to have a relationship with this man.
He used me as a pawn on his chess board. He used me to glean information about people as my parents separated. And he was using my sisters as well. They finally put a foot down and drew a line in the sand with him. I started to just take steps away from him as I continued to see that this man wasn't someone I could have in my life anymore.
His actions started to have an affect on my marriage.
I didn't find this acceptable.
I no longer have any contact with this man.
If I saw him on the street one day I don't even know what I would say to him or if I would even talk to him or if he would even say anything to me.

I guess just because someone is related to you it doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with them.
Family is a complex thing.

This being said I can honestly say that I am thankful for my friendships with both my sisters and their husbands. I am lucky to have them in my life.
The newest addition to our family is a joy to be around.
My husband and I have a great marriage.
This year on 7-11-2010 will mark our eleventh wedding anniversary.

Time marches on and we all have to keep step with the parade of time.
I'm back there with my drum just having a blast keeping the beat.