2010 Happiness

Last year in 2009 I fulfilled my New Year's resolution by becoming closer to my family.
This year my New Year's resolution was to make a new friend.
I have to express my sheer joy and happiness because I have found something I have been looking for a very long time for. I have always wanted to have friends in real life.
But I have always had trouble finding close friends here in the DFW metroplex.
I have always been the person with acquaintances. The girl forever trying to fit in to impress other people. I have sometimes felt like I was trying so desperately to fit in with others that I was losing myself. I felt that way in Jr High and in HS.
In Jr High I attempted to do myself in because I was miserable. I was singled out by all the popular kids as the person to tease and ridicule and despise. So I joined the Year Book club and started to be the person behind the camera and I was in art class and English trying to express myself and find an outlet for my pain. I found solace in my grandmother who kept telling me that things would be okay and she kept telling me how much of a special person I was. She was my light in the darkness of Jr High.
And then when I got to HS I was the only girl in the Drum Line. And music started to save me.
Music made me feel special. Marching on the field and flashing my cymbals. And crashing and making a big noise. Percussion became my new love.
But even at that point I never felt truly accepted. I loved myself and even my full figure.
And I wasn't in the spotlight of ridicule anymore because the campus was bigger and there were 4 grades.
The 10 years that I have been married have greatly boosted my self confidence and self love and my husband has helped me see so many wonderful things in life.
This year though as we get out together into the world and do things. It's just falling into place.
We are meeting people and having fun.
A good friend of mine used the word Epiphany today.
My Epiphany for 2010 is We can make friends.
I can have friends.
Why shouldn't we have them in our lives?
I think we deserve it.
We made 4 new friends yesterday.
Incredible.
The world is full of so many fun people and there are so many different and varied things to do in life.
Love life and enjoy it. Take some time to smell the roses.

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."~Mark Twain